PHUBBING
Ever been hanging benaughty free trial out with a date or significant other only to notice theyre paying too much attention to their phone? Thats a case of phubbing. Its a pretty ugly word, but honestly, its a pretty ugly act. With people using technology to stay in constant connection to their friends and followers, it can be easy to forget about the person right in front of you. A consistent phubber is sending a message, intentionally or otherwise, that youre simply not the top priority, their phone is.
PIE HUNTING
As you can probably deduce, pie hunting is an unsavory dating phenomenon in which a person (the “hunter”) deliberately dates “pies”, or heartbroken, vulnerable people with messy dating histories, who are perceived to be easier and lower-maintenance.
POLYAMOROUS
In its various forms, polyamory has been a part of human culture for millennia, particularly in the form of polygamous marriages, but it’s enjoying a resurgence in modern dating culture as millennials (children of divorce faced with untold levels of choice) break with monogamous tradition and begin exploring their options. It’s not a free-for-all – there are still rules, and cheating does exist – but consensually dating (and loving) multiple people at once could represent the future of dating.
QUEER
The word has been reclaimed by those communities as a positive term. ‘Queer’ is often treated as the ‘umbrella’ term under which gay men, pansexual non-binary persons, and people experimenting with their sexuality can come together under. It’s a term of solidarity to foster community between sexuality-and-gender-diverse persons. Queer is one of the more amorphous terms on this list, and is used by queer persons to describe themselves. So what does it mean? Basically, ‘not straight’, in any flavor you like, and usually with a slightly more radical edge.
REDPILL
If you decide, once and for all, that women are bad and society is set up in such a way to privilege them over men at every turn, you’re completely off your rocker – but you’ve also had a redpill moment. You’ll probably want to head to Reddit and swap stories with other incels and MGTOWs about how women are ruining your lives.
Etymology: Redpilling is named for the scene in The Matrix when Morpheus offers Neo the choice between taking a red pill and a blue pill – with the red one representing the horrifying truth and the blue, blissful ignorance.
ROACHING
Roaching is a new dating trend where people hide the fact that they’re dating around from a new partner and, when confronted, claim to have simply been under the assumption that there was no implication of monogamy to begin with. In today’s more poly-friendly dating culture, this is a slick tactic to shift the blame to the person confronting them, but the truth is it’s both parties’ responsibility to be at least baseline open about seeing other people if that’s the case. Roaching, as a result, deeply messed up.
Etymology: Roaching refers to the adage that if you see one cockroach, there are a ton more that you don’t see – just like this person’s sneaky side-dealings.
SAPIOSEXUAL
Perhaps most infamous for the time Tinder CEO Sean Rad confused it with the word “sodomy,” sapiosexual is a word that’s gained increasing currency in recent years. Meaning someone who’s turned on by a person’s mind rather than physical appearance, it’s a neat marriage of style and substance, as only huge nerds would dare self-identify as sapiosexuals. Not to be confused with any of the other sexualities, this isn’t a clinical definition of an innate quality, merely a descriptor meant to state a preference.